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Tuesday, March 9, 2010


The young boy's name was Matthew Spark. By nature , he was honest, fragile , virtuous and full of love. So young, so fresh, yet so discriminating. Almost too good to be true.

His tranquil face defines every possible emotions that one could parade. It was so eloquent, easy to discern. So do his glassy faded blue eyes. Sad, dejected,doleful, all at once. The feelings that he'd shown were visible enough that i could slightly taste his bitter woes. Every emotions that he felt slurping into mine, with their very own ways of communicating. It took me seconds to realize that my eyes were already burning, tears escaped. I was in pain. It wasn't my pain. It was his. I switched my gaze to the other side of the angle. :-With intentions that I'd conceal the agony from this young delicate boy; to make the agony obscured from every gaze. Enough pain I've caused him. Though, i was too late. He's too vigilant to be fooled. Hawk-eyed gaze of his still locked firmly on me. Too sharp that i could still sense the edges even with my eyelids glued .

When i turned back slowly, to have a quick glance of him, that little boy docked the distance that kept us apart. He was just a stretched-hand away from my side. At the corner of his lips had a line crooked a bit, assuming that it was a smile. A smile that haunts with sincerity. His hands landed gently on my cheeks. So warm yet so soothing. Funny how a very petite hand could do such thing. His small palm, still neatly affixed on my cheeks when our gaze met . It made me felt less edgy, less antagonizing. A part of me felt abundantly secured. None of the pain was significant anymore. The dolor finally left through out the wide door across my chest. It was phenomenal.

'Don't cry Elly. You look ugly. ' He pressed his lips together into a tight line. Making him look a bit older than his actual age. His velvety voice were too irresistible for a kid. Forehead creased , creating a few lines that made him look somber.

'Elly? ' Curiosity was anywhere closed to me. My heart beats so fast that it might skipped a few beats. I wonder if he had the wrong person. That isn't my name. Or is it ? How can i not know my own name? Every time i question myself, i will get entirely flummoxed, head spins . I had no answers, it remained inexplicable. I bit my lips, desolated with the failure.

'That is your name. Ellysa . Elly. Don't you remember anything? ' His eyes enlarged, he might burst into tears again. My heart would pop out any second now, swelling with pity and guilt. Seeing him desolated made me weak, unbearable. Knowing, he's my true weakness.

I shook with disagreement. No words left to be spoken. As much as this grieves him, it sure is worst to me. I never thought how dysfunctional my brain could be. Every single memories of mine went missing. Afraid if they're gone for good. I'd do anything to have them back. -- Hurting him was never my option, or even closed to be optional. Every time he called me with that name, Elly, i'd cease my words. Blinking with edginess. As if , he was calling for someone else but its me that he wanted to call for.

' Wh.. where .. am .. i ? ' My breathe shortened a bit. Difficult for me to finish a sentence without letting silent gaps sunder every words i'd say.

I rolled my eyes side by side, scrutinizing every details across the room. Small room , painted with baby blue color. The color diluted somehow, there was black spots on it. ; A dressing table far corner of the room, that looked as though it was about to crack, while, parallel to it lies a small wooden bureau that had bottles of medicines on it. Above me was another wooden shelve that had jumbles of old magazines. Nothing recent. I groaned silently, veiling the disappointment as possible.

' Oh.. You're at the hospital Elly.. ' Matthew's voice trembles all of the sudden. 'You are still.. urm.. sick. Doctor wouldn't let you out for a few more days' He sighed.

Curiosity kills the cat. I'd die to know every plausible explanation why i am here but i'd want to ask someone else. Matthew is so delicate, so fragile. Taking risks are something that i am not capable of doing right now. There was a flow of questions marks that were circulating in my bloodstream, waiting for the lucid retorts.

'Matthew..' I swallowed the lump that was clinging between my throat. He laid his eyes on me without blinking, anxious. ' Is there .. anyone else i could talk to? Perhaps a doctor? ' I pursed my lips, afraid if i might offend him.

His eyes widened , nodding with agreement.
' Hold on. ' He sprinted out from the room , as if he's in an utter rush. Fear that he'd wound himself for the running. One blink and he was no longer in the scene.

The silence that lasted for quite a spell made me inquisitive about the words that came out from him, that young boy. He was not just another regular boy, he's exceptional. A part of me made me felt protective, irrevocably concerned over him. Although, there was no memories left to be recalled , to reveal who he is, i just know i remember him from somewhere , buried along with my wounded emotion.

to be continued