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Tuesday, March 9, 2010


The young boy's name was Matthew Spark. By nature , he was honest, fragile , virtuous and full of love. So young, so fresh, yet so discriminating. Almost too good to be true.

His tranquil face defines every possible emotions that one could parade. It was so eloquent, easy to discern. So do his glassy faded blue eyes. Sad, dejected,doleful, all at once. The feelings that he'd shown were visible enough that i could slightly taste his bitter woes. Every emotions that he felt slurping into mine, with their very own ways of communicating. It took me seconds to realize that my eyes were already burning, tears escaped. I was in pain. It wasn't my pain. It was his. I switched my gaze to the other side of the angle. :-With intentions that I'd conceal the agony from this young delicate boy; to make the agony obscured from every gaze. Enough pain I've caused him. Though, i was too late. He's too vigilant to be fooled. Hawk-eyed gaze of his still locked firmly on me. Too sharp that i could still sense the edges even with my eyelids glued .

When i turned back slowly, to have a quick glance of him, that little boy docked the distance that kept us apart. He was just a stretched-hand away from my side. At the corner of his lips had a line crooked a bit, assuming that it was a smile. A smile that haunts with sincerity. His hands landed gently on my cheeks. So warm yet so soothing. Funny how a very petite hand could do such thing. His small palm, still neatly affixed on my cheeks when our gaze met . It made me felt less edgy, less antagonizing. A part of me felt abundantly secured. None of the pain was significant anymore. The dolor finally left through out the wide door across my chest. It was phenomenal.

'Don't cry Elly. You look ugly. ' He pressed his lips together into a tight line. Making him look a bit older than his actual age. His velvety voice were too irresistible for a kid. Forehead creased , creating a few lines that made him look somber.

'Elly? ' Curiosity was anywhere closed to me. My heart beats so fast that it might skipped a few beats. I wonder if he had the wrong person. That isn't my name. Or is it ? How can i not know my own name? Every time i question myself, i will get entirely flummoxed, head spins . I had no answers, it remained inexplicable. I bit my lips, desolated with the failure.

'That is your name. Ellysa . Elly. Don't you remember anything? ' His eyes enlarged, he might burst into tears again. My heart would pop out any second now, swelling with pity and guilt. Seeing him desolated made me weak, unbearable. Knowing, he's my true weakness.

I shook with disagreement. No words left to be spoken. As much as this grieves him, it sure is worst to me. I never thought how dysfunctional my brain could be. Every single memories of mine went missing. Afraid if they're gone for good. I'd do anything to have them back. -- Hurting him was never my option, or even closed to be optional. Every time he called me with that name, Elly, i'd cease my words. Blinking with edginess. As if , he was calling for someone else but its me that he wanted to call for.

' Wh.. where .. am .. i ? ' My breathe shortened a bit. Difficult for me to finish a sentence without letting silent gaps sunder every words i'd say.

I rolled my eyes side by side, scrutinizing every details across the room. Small room , painted with baby blue color. The color diluted somehow, there was black spots on it. ; A dressing table far corner of the room, that looked as though it was about to crack, while, parallel to it lies a small wooden bureau that had bottles of medicines on it. Above me was another wooden shelve that had jumbles of old magazines. Nothing recent. I groaned silently, veiling the disappointment as possible.

' Oh.. You're at the hospital Elly.. ' Matthew's voice trembles all of the sudden. 'You are still.. urm.. sick. Doctor wouldn't let you out for a few more days' He sighed.

Curiosity kills the cat. I'd die to know every plausible explanation why i am here but i'd want to ask someone else. Matthew is so delicate, so fragile. Taking risks are something that i am not capable of doing right now. There was a flow of questions marks that were circulating in my bloodstream, waiting for the lucid retorts.

'Matthew..' I swallowed the lump that was clinging between my throat. He laid his eyes on me without blinking, anxious. ' Is there .. anyone else i could talk to? Perhaps a doctor? ' I pursed my lips, afraid if i might offend him.

His eyes widened , nodding with agreement.
' Hold on. ' He sprinted out from the room , as if he's in an utter rush. Fear that he'd wound himself for the running. One blink and he was no longer in the scene.

The silence that lasted for quite a spell made me inquisitive about the words that came out from him, that young boy. He was not just another regular boy, he's exceptional. A part of me made me felt protective, irrevocably concerned over him. Although, there was no memories left to be recalled , to reveal who he is, i just know i remember him from somewhere , buried along with my wounded emotion.

to be continued

Thursday, October 8, 2009

the perfect beauty

The sheepish smile that the sun made was pretty enchanting to every eyes that were gazing at her. Indeed, it was an unbearable beauty that caused the other stars in the galaxy to fume with such jealousy. I can do nothing but to just observe, while rolling my astounded eyes to every side of the world. Somehow, the blue and orange painted sky were the one that triumphantly caught my eyes. It was so beautiful. Too beautiful that I do not offer myself to blink. I wouldn’t want to gasp with such regrets for letting the beauty escapes from my vision. Eardrums of mine were tangling with the echoes from the blustery wind while i , myself was enjoying the breeze through the pores of my skin. Sound of the angry waves that battered the shore made the scene more vivacious.

As soon as I shifted my gaze back at the real world, there he was, gliding his steps down the invisible aisle towards me. The cluttered hair of his were pushed by the wind recklessly but he was too busy praising the most exquisite smile that I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Enough to burst my swollen heart or alleviates my brittle bones. I was about to lose myself to the gravity for that. For a moment there, the beauty that I’ve witnessed were no longer vital. For he, was purely unbeatable. I’d cease my breathe right away if the visage of him were gone from my glimpse. My heart beats were thumping faster than his footsteps. It was getting louder and louder that I fear it would finally hurt itself, hurt me. I could do nothing but to inhale as many oxygen as possible for the sake of my swelling heart—- God was being utterly biased when he was creating this divine masterpiece I’d say. That speaks for his incredible beauty. He was far more precious than a gold to me , for he was a part of me. He’s my lover, my best friend. A vindication for my heart to beat, or to speak. I’d do anything. Anything to keep his heart from stopping nor abide a scratch.

The devastating spaces that separated us two few seconds ago were now vanishing itself into the middle of the deep blue ocean. I felt as if my heart actually dropped itself into my fluttering stomach and went back into place. Realizing that he is already standing faultlessly in front of me. I liberated my psyched eyes around him, scrutinizing every details of his flawless face, until my eyes actually met his. I could feel my fresh blood that were rushing underneath my skin were trickling themselves to my cheeks all at once, causing them to burn.

‘ Aren’t you just being plainly selfish to treasure this beautiful twilight on your own my love ?’ Those were the words that were flirting with my eardrums before he pressed his alluring red lips on mine. Particles of the air were now pervaded by the odor of his breath. I could sense the sleepy sun, and the ocean starring with envy. The moment was just too perfect that i'd live eternally for this to last.

to be continued

Saturday, October 3, 2009

truth to bear

The silence that covered up half the ticking clock antagonized me to not waste another second. I realized how i've already wasted half of my breathing period, dawdling underneath this familiar roof for several years now. I've been concealing myself behind my very own invisible shield created by my cluttered mind itself. The lining of the shield somehow corrodes every now and then which cause me such pain to bear. Letting the razor-edged thoughts soon to be woes to kiss my fragile cells. Hurting the organ that is pumping torpidly beneath my chest. The organ that kept me alive. That kept me breathing in this air to feel more like a human. It was breaking, and i need to stop it from breaking. I can't let it break. I could not let it be shattered into oodles of little pieces and endure such eternal ache. It felt so atrocious as if my heart had been administered by a sharp-eyed knife straight through my heart. But, i am just an impotent human being. Too impotent that i could not even stand on my bare feet nor halt this entire vocation of my life. Never in my life had i ever felt this weak. So, it is still breaking. Once, i felt that i was just dragging my soulless corpse around , being entirely dead. I never knew how does it feel to be alive. To feel normal. I could do nothing. Nothing but to make way for the tiny holes in my eyes for all the tears to run away. Finding a better place to stay.

written by sara lisa

Tuesday, September 29, 2009


' I shall blow the wind away from you if that wind could only hassle you, walk thousands of miles through the steaming days and chilly nights just to reach out my arms for you, or maybe, jump in front of the bullet just so that it had to go through me before it even sees you. I'd do anything for you, for just only one thing that is . . . Your smile, my love. " Those were the words that were still dangling in my eardrums when he whispered calmly through my ears while his hazel eyes were locked firmly at my weary eyes. I felt that my entire body was about to fall apart as if my spine was no longer functional. The bones that were supposed to support my body are now just too soft to even support itself. My hands were trembling along with my other body parts until his hands were locked around my waist just to soothe me out. The lump that stuck between my throat and mouth was the reason why that there was no words to be spoken. My heart was pumping so hard which i fear that it could burst any moment now. He knew that i was wordless, he just knew that he is my one true weakness, but he did it again. He made me love him again.

The awkward silence lasted for a few minutes when he tugged me closer to where his fist-sized heart was beating unconsciously. The delicate minutes were only filled with only gazes from each other. He leaned his gorgeous face towards mine and that is when his exquisite red lips took control. His lips were even better than marijuana or any obsessive drugs that i could name it. Everything about him simply jolted my every nerves. He was too perfect to be called a human. For a moment there, everything was just too perfect to be called reality. It was more like a fairytale that every girl would be dreaming off.. what i've been dreaming off. The gleaming moon and the twinkling stars were the witness for this terrific night. I will give my everything just to keep this night fresh. He was my prince charming that i've been believing in and he was in front of me, standing like an authentic angel. I just knew that i can never get bored of this divine masterpiece from god as a gift for me.

' i love you. ' I had finally spill the words out, ignoring the lumps that were still twisted along the way. All my left-out strengths had finally came back from the dead just when i needed it. The corner of his lips were now creased a bit, assuming that it was a smile. A beautiful smile that was. His warm palm was brushing through my cheeks, apparently diminishing all those things that i should be doing by now. I almost forgotten that it was already late and i should probably be towed by the real dream by now. The moon is now just too sleepy to witness anything further than this. It was not really an eye-opener to me knowing that this magnificent creature never fails to mesmerize me. There was something about him that is far stronger than the gravity to me. I remember clenching my heart with words that kept on alleging that he is too good to be true and i, just don't deserve any of this.

to be continued

Friday, July 10, 2009

love story

She was an absolute dreamer and he was a true imagination. Her heart was entirely bruised by those unappreciative people that had been walking in and out from her life without a slight of sympathy interred beneath their soul. She was alone and worst, she was hankering for love that everyone was talking about. Happiness was something that she could not get. All she ever wanted is to love and to be loved. All she ever wanted is to know what 'love' supposed to mean. In return, she got herself agonize. How could that possibly be wrong? She was pervaded with desperation and that is when he walked into her life. To her, he was an angel sent by god and to him, she may be a start of a new something. She was dying and that he had been her all time hero. Her dull life alters with just a blink to something perfectly good. He was the one to be blamed. Their love started to smear so undeniably wonderful with an eccentric ways that they have build together. The chemistry that they had got themselves into was too powerful to be called silly. Although he was currently breathing in a different atmosphere and he was apparently standing thousands of miles away from her, the power of their love was a complete remedy for everything or anything. Obstacles were their best friends. What matters the most was that , they both would have their heart stick together to fight back with the torments that came rushing them. They were madly in love. Words could not express their integrity of what bonds they had created. Even so, only words could make them closer. Action was invisible. As months flew by, she started to realize how important he was to her. However, that was not enough. She wanted more from him and that would only hurt him. She wanted a first date, a first kiss, a first touch that winds up the relationship that had came across to her bare eyes that was burning with jealousy. She wanted a normal relationship that he could not give. Still and all, she just knew she could not bare to leave him. Tears were rushing for all that she could remember. She was devastated by the love that leads her to insanity. Her heart was crushed into small pieces whenever he took what she wished for granted. Her wishes was all about him, just him. Their love was stepping into a state of misery. And so, she was apparently breathless and entirely weak. She wanted to reach out her hand for him, to make him stay, but he was reckless enough to turn back as he was walking away..

the end.